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300 Funny Beer Quotes from the Famous Drinkers

300 Famous Quotes about Drinking Beer

Top 10 Beer Quotes

“Nothing is more expensive than the first beer.” – French Proverb

“This leads to the great theory of human history: that we didn’t start farming because we wanted food—there was loads of that around. We started farming because we wanted booze.” – Mark Forsyth

“Well, yeah it doesn’t really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer.” – Luke

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” – Dave Barry

“Why did I get drunk? I do stupid things when I’m drunk… like sleep with my husband!” – Jenna Hunterson

“I think this would be a good time for a beer.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Beer was not made to be moralized about, but to be drunk.” – Theodore Maynard

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

“I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night” – Benjamin Franklin

“Good people drink good beer.” – Hunter S Thompson

Short Beer Quotes

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“Don’t worry, BEER happy!”

“When the beer goes in the wits go out.” – Danish Proverb

“There are worse ways to die than warm and drunk.”

“I give into beer pressure.”

“Life is too short to drink bad beer!”

“I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably.” – Amanda Peet

“Drink beer like it’s your day job!”

“Beer… Now there’s a temporary solution.” – Homer Simpson

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”

“It takes beer to make a thirst worthwhile.” – German Proverb

“I’m only here for the beer.” – Ind Coope Brewery

“I’m not so think as you drunk I am !” – John Squire

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”

“Better weak beer than an empty cask.” – Danish Proverb

“Homer no function beer well without.” – Homer Simpson

“I tried running. Gave it up. I kept spilling my beer.”

“Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.”

“Be nice. Be useful. Bring Beer!”

“I like beer.” – Brett Kavanaugh

“Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.”

“A man who lies about beer makes enemies.” – Stephen King

“It’s beer o’clock somewhere!”

“Beer makes everything better!”

“Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of good beer.”

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato

“Beer makes beautiful bodies.” – Czech Proverb

“Beer…. a high and mighty liquor.” – Julius Caesar

“I like my water with barley and hops!”

“I have respect for beer.” – Russell Crowe

“In dog beers, I’ve only had one!”

“I never met a pub I didn’t like.” – Pete Slosberg

“I feel like getting plushed to the scuppers!” – Rita

“The best beer in the world is the open bottle in your hand.”

“For a quart of Ale is a dish for a king.” – William Shakespeare

“I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King

“Let no man thirst for good beer.” – Sam Adams

“They who drink beer will think beer.” – Washington Irving

“A man does not exist until he is drunk.” – Ernest Hemingway

Funny Beer Quotes

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“When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.” – Dave Barry

“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector…and miss.” – Robert A. Heinlein

“No, sir: There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.” – Samuel Johnson

“It was a natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer” – Ernest Hemingway

“Here’s a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there’s someone right behind you.”

“When your companions get drunk and fight, Take up your hat, and wish them good night.” – Japanese Proverb

“This must be Thursday,’ said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. ‘I never could get the hang of Thursdays.” – Douglas Adams

“There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.” – Chelsea Handler

“Blessed is the mother who gives birth to a brewer” – Czech Saying

“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” – Homer Simpson

“If you had a Ministry box set under your Christmas tree, wrapped in paper, ‘From Beer to Eternity’ is the bow that goes around the present, you know what I mean?” – Al Jourgensen

“I’d tried to straighten him out, but there’s only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.” – David Sedaris

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver.” – by Jack Handy

“There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says ‘Good people drink good beer.’ Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.” – Hunter S. Thompson

“Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.” – David Moulton

“I am not an alcoholic. I am a drunk, and there is a vast difference.” – Mortdecai

“We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.” – Martin Luther

“Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!” – Homer Simpson

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

“That’s right, there’s free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone’s jealous.” – Kevin Hearne

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

“Beer, if drunk with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health” – Thomas Jefferson

“About the nicest thing God ever invented was alcohol. He’s proud of it, too. The Bible’s full of kind remarks about booze.” – Herman Wouk

“One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn’t live like the previous generation. It hasn’t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.” – Ron Klugman

“Women should put a picture of their missing husbands on beer cans.” – Steven Wright

“The sum of the matter is, the people drink because they wish to drink.” – Rudolph Brand

“Let’s get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini…” – Mae West

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” – W.C. Fields

“Beer before liquor, you’ll never be sicker, but liquor before beer and you’re in the clear.”

“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.” – Homer Simpson

“An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.” – Confucius

“I’m going to buy a boat… do a little traveling, and I’m going to be drinking beer!” – John Welsh

“Most people hate the taste of beer—to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.” – Winston Churchhill

“Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. “Yes” is the answer!”

“From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world.” – St. Arnulf of Metz

“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.” – Martin Luther

“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!” – Martin Luther

“God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?” – Restroom in The Irish Times

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. Never drink when you are wretched without it, or you will be like the grey-faced gin-drinker in the slum; but drink when you would be happy without it, and you will be like the laughing peasant of Italy. Never drink because you need it, for this is rational drinking, and the way to death and hell. But drink because you do not need it, for this is irrational drinking, and the ancient health of the world.” – G. K. Chesterton

“Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.” – Thornton Melon

“The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle. They’re on TV.” – Homer Simpson

“I can party like a twenty-four-year-old but it takes me almost a week to recover.” – Amy Poehler

“Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.” – Homer Simpson

“There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What’s up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don’t think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who’s been pinching my beer?” – Terry Pratchett

“Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.” – Frederick the Great

“My beerdrunk soul is sadder than all the dead Christmas trees of the world.” – Charles Bukowski

“The beer tastes good to my throat, cold and bitter, and the three boys and the beer and the queer freeness of the situation makes me feel like laughing forever. So I laugh, and my lipstick leaves a red stain like a bloody crescent moon on top of the beer can. I am looking very healthy and flushed and bright-eyed, having both a good tan and a rather excellent fever.” – Sylvia Plath

Drinking Beer Quotes

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“Pizza alone won’t fill the emptiness inside you, you’ll also need a beer!”

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Wilhelm

“No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.” – John Churchill

“I’ve drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together.” – Gunnery Sergeant Highway

“High school isn’t a very important place. When you’re going you think it’s a big deal, but when it’s over nobody really thinks it was great unless they’re beered up.” – Stephen King

“It was beer, not fire, that Prometeus stole from the gods and brought to man.” – Tim Powers

“When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.” – Francois Rabelais

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” – W.C. Fields

“Instead of water we got here a draught of beer…a lumberer’s drink, which would acclimate and naturalize a man at once—which would make him see green, and, if he slept, dream that he heard the wind sough among the pines.” – Henry David Thoreau

“One more drink and I’d have been under the host.” – Dorothy Parker

“Nothing spells trouble like two drunk cowboys with a rocket launcher.” – C. J. Box

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When life’s a bitch, beer is a must!”

“Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness.” – Irish Proverb

“One mouth doesn’t taste the beer.” – Bantu Proverb

“It’s what your right arm’s for.” – Courage Brewery

“There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better.” – Stephen Morris

“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.” – Tom Robbins

“If you want to know where God is, ask a drunk.” – Charles Bukowski

“Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence?” – Stephen Wright

“There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes.” – David Sedaris

“I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion” – Miguel De Cervantes

“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.” – Charles Bukowski

“Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.” – Hugh Hood

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.” – Ray Bradbury

“ I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

“It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.” – W.C. Fields

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart

“She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make?” – Toni Morrison

“I try to stay two drinks ahead of reality and three behind a drunk” – James Crumley

“Hitler was the archetype of the abstemious man. When the other krauts saw him drink water in the Beer Hall they should have known he was not to be trusted.” – A. J. Liebling

“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Thank you, Craft Beer Breweries, for making my drinking problem seem like a neat hobby.”

“What care I how time advances, I am drinking ale today.” – Edgar Allan Poe

“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say scientists’ I meant Irish people. ” – Tina Fey

“I drink to make other people interesting.” – George Jean Nathan

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields

“You speak of my drinking, yet you don’t know my thirst.” – Scottish Proverb

“ I am not addicted to beer… It’s addicted to me.” – Cyanide & Happiness

“Beer is for breakfast around here, drink or be gone.” – Doug Coughlin

“But that’s only really one in dog beers.” – Anon

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” – Paul Newman or Steven Wright

“It was a natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer.” – Ernest Hemingway

“I wanna be drunk. And make… you drunk. Because I’m intimidated by you. I need to feel free to say anything, and know that you’ll forgive me.” – June Miller

“Do you know what rhymes with Friday? Beer.”

“Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.” – Dan Castellaneta

“I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.” – Raymond Chandler

“Men get drunk and boast, or they get religion and repent.” – Ellen O’ Connell

“Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

“One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” – Charles Baudelaire

“Cider on beer, never fear; beer upon cider, makes a bad rider.”

“Drink thy share of mead; speak fair or not at all’ – that was the old text, and a very sensible one in its way.” – Eoghan Odinsson

“There’s something wonderful about drinking in the afternoon. A not-too-cold pint, absolutely alone at the bar – even in this fake-ass Irish pub.” – Anthony Bourdain

“I don’t think I’ve drunk enough beer to understand that.” – Terry Pratchett

“I only drink beer on days that end with “Y””

“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” – Yeats

“ Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

“If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.” – David Daye

“I feel sorry for people that don’t drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

“If you’re thirsty, a drink will cure it, if you’re not, a drink will prevent it. Prevention is better than a cure.” – Mandy Nicholls

“If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.” – Craig Ferguson

“One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.” – James Thurber

“If I only drink beer, nothing stronger, then by the end of the night I can generally recognize myself as a reasonable human being, and more importantly, wake up that way.” – Robert Black

“Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it’s all–hahhhh.” – Thomas Pynchon

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” – Ernest Hemingway

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde

“I have often regretted what I have eaten, but never what I have drunk.” – Otto von Bismarck

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Important people are much more interesting when they are drunk and seem much more like human beings.”

“A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience – except that it is soluble in alcohol.” – Thomas Blackburn

“And … and what is civilisation if it isn’t people talking to each other over a goddamned beer?” – James S.A. Corey

“After drinking four Martinis, my husband turns into a disgusting beast. And after the fifth, I pass out altogether.”

“I want a beer. I want a giant, ice-cold bottle of beer and shower sex.” – Nora Roberts

“History flows forward on rivers of beer.”

“I am silently judging your beer selection!”

“You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.” – Founders Brewing

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” – Brian O’Rourke

“Whiskey on beer, never fear. Beer on whiskey, mighty risky.” – English Proverbs

“I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.” – Homer Simpson

“Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man’s worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health.”

“Beer before wine, you’ll feel fine. Wine before beer, you’ll feel queer.”

“If getting drunk was how people forgot they were mortal, then hangovers were how they remembered.”

“Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.” – Fritz Maytag

“The mouth of perfectly happy man is filled with beer.” – Egyptian Proverb

“My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.” – Tallulah Bankhead

Famous Beer Quotes

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“The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.” – William James

“A little bit of beer is divine medicine.” – Paracelsus

“A warm beer is still a good beer, despite what modern country singers say.” – A.D. Aliwat

“I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.” – Dave Barry

“I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.” – Phil Harris

“Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow” – Cicero

“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” – Catherine Zandonella

“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer!” – Robin Hood

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” – Abraham Lincoln

“A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.” – Samuel Johnson

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”

“I should like a great lake of ale, for the King of Kings. I should like the family of heaven to be drinking it through time eternal.”

“The human intellect owes its superiority over that of the lower animals in great measure to the stimulus which alcohol has given imagination.” – Samuel Butler

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” – George Best

“It’s good for a man to get drunk once in a while. It releases all the evil spirits.”

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.” – George Bernard Shaw

“If merely ‘feeling good’ could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience.” – William James

“Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.”

“Politicians use statistics in the same way that a drunk uses lamp-posts: for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang

“The letters in ‘Brace Beemer’ can be arranged to spell ‘Embrace Beer.’” – Dave Barry

“Nobody drove me to drink… but they had to drive me back.” – Gerald Leiberman

“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.” – George Carlin

“God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.” – Anne Sexton

“Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk.” – John Wayne

“Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insane asylums… give me beer. You think man needs rule, he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer… The souls of men have been fed with indigestibles, but the soul could make use of beer.” – Henry Miller

“…there is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer.” – Peter Richmond

“There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.” – Billy Carter

“We could not now take time for further searche or consideration: our victuals being much spente, especially our beere.” – Logbook entry on the Mayflower

“Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.”

“Make sure that the beer – four pints a week – goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.” – Winston Churchill

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson

“Whoever serves beer or wine watered down, he himself deserves in them to drown.” – Medieval plea for pure libations

“It looks good, it tastes good, and by golly it does you good.” – Mackeson’s Brewery

“Bless, + O Lord, this creature beer, which thou hast deigned to produce from the fat of grain: that it may be a salutary remedy to the human race, and grant through the invocation of thy holy name; that, whoever shall drink it, may gain health in body and peace in soul.” – Rituale Romanum

“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.” – Joe E. Lewis

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

“Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.” – Queen Victoria

“May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.” – Old Irish Blessing

“A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion.” – Jim Parker

“It only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember whether it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.” – George Burns

“May you drink so much that you lose your fear, but not so much that you lose your mind.” – Shon Mehta

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but a the very least you need a beer.” – Frank Zappa

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” – Hunter S. Thompson

“Promise me one thing: don’t take me home until I’m drunk… Very drunk indeed.” – Holly Golightly

“In Russia, drunks are our kindest people. Our kindest people are also the most drunk.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

“The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but we will walk carefully.” – Russian Proverb

“I want to sit under a linden tree with nothing more important to worry about but the temperature of the beer. If there is anything more important.” – Sam Dodsworth

“Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer – it has always been thus.” – Peter Richmond

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” – W. C. Fields

“There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.” – Oscar Wilde

“We Persians have a saying that one should deliberate serious matters first drunk, then sober.”

“Sir, you’re drunk!” Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” – Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

“A man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t.” – William Faulkner

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: ‘Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.’” – George Carlin

“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” – Richard Braunstein

“Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” – Sammy Davis

“I understood drinking to be the gasoline of all adventure.” – Sarah Hepola

“Wine is but single broth, ale is meat, drink, and cloth.” – English Proverb

Craft Beer Quotes

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“The roots and herbes beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengtheneth and quickeneth the sight of the eyes.” – Nicholas Culpeper

“When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?” – J.P. Donleavy

“To alcohol! The cause of – and solution – to all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

“I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.” – Mads Mikkelsen

“Wherever beer is brewed, all is well-wherever beer is drunk, life is good.” – Czech Proverb

“Beer. The best damn drink in the world!” – Jack Nicholson

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry

“If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go What happens if you take two?”

“I recommend . . . bread, meat, vegetables and beer. — Sophocles (on his philosophy of a moderate diet) meal of bread, cheese and beer constitutes the perfect food.” – Queen Elizabeth

“Wine upon beer is very good cheer; beer upon wine consider with fear.” – German Proverb

“Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.” – Harold Rudolph

“Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink.” – Whitstran Brewery sign

“Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.” – David Rains Wallace

Beer Cheers Quotes

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“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” – Jack Handey

“Beer he drank – seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became hilarious. His heart was glad and his face shown.” – The Epic of Gilgamesh

“Beer is a wholesome liquor…it abounds with nourishment” – Dr. Benjamin Rush

“The problem with some people is that when they are not drunk, they’re sober.” – William Butler Yeats

“You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It’s not that you had too much to drink. You’re just too skinny.” – Freddie Bauer

“May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.” – Irish Toast

“People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.” – Capital Brewery

“Drinking with a bosom friend, a thousand shots are too few; Talking with a disagreeable person, half a sentence is too many.” – Chinese Proverb

“The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.”

“What is said when drunk has been thought out beforehand.”

“Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” – Bruce Carlton

“People who drink beer, generally think beer.” – William Warburton

“Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” – Jack Nicholson

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Personality must be accepted for what it is. You mustn’t mind that a poet is a drunk, rather that drunks are not always poets.” – Oscar Wilde

“For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.” – Czech Proverb

“In beer’s defense, I’ve done some pretty stupid shit while sober, too.”

“He is a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato

“Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.” – Don Marquis

“Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days.” – Ancient Egyptian Credo

“I’m an occasional drinker, the kind of guy who goes out for a beer and wakes up in Singapore with a full beard.” – Raymond Chandler

“William Faulkner is supposed to have said, ‘Civilization begins with distillation,’ but I’d push even further — beyond just distilled spirits to wine, beer, mead, sake … all of it. Booze is civilization in a glass.” – Adam Rogers

“Beer will get you through time of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer.” – Freddie Freak

“Isn’t beer the holy libation of sincerity? The potion that dispels all hypocrisy, any charade of fine manners? The drink that does nothing worse than incite its fans to urinate in all innocence, to gain weight in all frankness?” – Milan Kundera

“Do not blame a person for drinking lest he is trying to forget something more serious than drinking.” – Khalil Gibran

“By drinking, a boy acts like a man. After drinking, many a man acts like a boy.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.” – Lord Byron

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.” – Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

“Unless you’re a recovering alcoholic or Mormon or have liver problems, you should always have booze in the house. We were once invited to an acquaintance’s place for brunch and they offered us green tea and salad and it was a fucking nightmare.” – Jennifer McCartney

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.” – Frank Zappa

“Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is.” – Billy Carter

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”

“When you come to the end of the line, with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell.” – Randy Miller

“May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.” – Old Irish Toast

“stay with the beer. beer is continuous blood. a continuous lover.” – Charles Bukowski

Beer Love Quotes

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.” – Carl Worner

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder” – Kinky Friedman

“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.” – His reply

“I hate men who smell like beer and bean dip… and makin’ love in the back of recreational vehicles!” – Sadie Ratliff

“It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.”

“I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.” – Sid Vicious

“The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer named June 2nd.” – Agnes

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields

“If love makes the world go around, then whisky makes it go around twice as fast!” – Compton Mackenzie

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” – Homer Simpson

“A drunk tongue is an honest one in my opinion.”

“Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world” – Kaiser Wilhelm

“Always do sober what you said you would do drunk. It will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway.

“Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you’re going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?” – Roger Swanson

“If a life of wine, women and song becomes too much, give up singing.” – Mark Schiess

Originally published November 17, 2021, updated November 17, 2021

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